Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Here's How To Give A Better Interview, Dave

David Chase was asked about the increasingly elaborate and slightly crazed theories (the Last Supper theory in particular stands out) “Sopranos” fans have built around the enigmatic final scene of the series finale. He had the audacity to give the “I’m a creative genius, so it’s possible my subconscious created something incredible on a different level that I didn’t even realize was happening while I was doing it” answer. He followed that up with the “our fans our losers for putting so much thought into this, get a life” answer. I now hate David Chase.

Dave, let me explain something to you: there are only seven answers you’re allowed to give when asked that question, and your answer is not one of them. In fact, it’s not anywhere close to anything on the list of acceptable responses. Here are the answers you can give to avoid complete douchery in the future when asked about a scene’s subtext:

  1. "It’s really touching to see fans reading so much into what’s going on each episode. It makes all our hard work feel worth it.”
  2. “Oh, you know me. I’m lucky if I can ever remember to turn the camera on.”
  3. “I won’t give anything away, but there’s definitely things going on below the surface in that scene. People are right to put a lot of thought into what they’re seeing.”
  4. “I’m Michael Bay. My movies don’t have any significance in literally any context.”
  5. “Half the fun is trying to figure these things out, I don’t want to ruin it for anyone.”
  6. “I built that scene in a very classic filmic style, with an eye towards having it consistent with our culture’s visual history, so if you spot references to certain things in there, it may not be unintentional.”
  7. “Yeah, I stole the idea from an old student film I did in college when I was taking a lot of LSD. I have no idea what the scene means either.”
Any one of those answers is acceptable in any interview, though you can change the language of number four to say “Joel Schumaker” if you wish.

Print this out and take this with you to any interviews in the future, Dave. It seems you need all the help you can get.

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At October 25, 2007 8:52 AM, Blogger Ben said...

After seeing how Schumacher destroyed "Phantom of the Opera" with poor casting and even worse direction, I think I may take the liberty of replacing him in number four.

Also, the word of the day is "douchery." You should move to Asheville!

At October 25, 2007 7:31 PM, Blogger Assistant Village Idiot said...

You really are brilliant at times. This is the movie equivalent of Bull Durham's getting your cliches lined up


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