Saturday, July 19, 2008

I'm glad this isn't my family.

A woman working at the Pizza Patron was stunned when, in the middle of the shift, the restaurant was robbed by three people wearing masks. She was more surprised to discover that the perpetrators were, in fact, her husband and her parents, who had neglected to mention this plan to her beforehand. The best quote came from the police officer:
"Her husband told us she didn't know. He knew they were going to rob someplace but he thought it was going to be a convenience store."
I love the idea of a family where the husband mentions to his wife that he and her parents will probably be knocking over a local business sometime that night, and then later says "y'know, why don't we just rob where my wife works?"

Good news on the horizon, by the way: the geeky-yet-appealing Michael Ian Black has announced, as a result of the loathsome-and-tiresome Tucker Max's throttle hold on the Amazon humor category, that he is willing to engage Max in a round of fisticuffs. Since Max wrote a book chronicling, among other things, his penchant for bar fights, and Black seems more like the sort of guy who spends a weekend watching "Fraggle Rock" on DVD, this seems unwise, but Max has generously agreed to "show up drunk - 20 beers, 30 beers, whatever it takes to get me plastered. If you don't think I'm drunk enough, I'll keep drinking." What's more, if Black wins, Max will give him his next royalty check - about $150K - from I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell, the autobiography that makes every mother cringe in horror.

A couple of quick thoughts on this:
1. 30 beers?
2. If Black wins by way of alcohol poisoning, is that still a win?
3. It has clearly been a very terrible idea to give Tucker Max ungodly amounts of money in large chunks. A better plan would be a small stipend, with the remainder of the money going to a trust fund that can be cashed in after both of his kidneys fail at 34.
4. You should read Black's post, if only for the Judy Blume joke.
5. Y'know, what did happen to Judy Blume jokes? They all seemed to disappear when "Chicken Soup For the Soul" jokes came into vogue.
6. A blind-drunk frat boy versus a stone-cold sober VH1 commentator would make for very good television, I think.
7. If someone kills Max, is it automatically considered fratricide? (heeey-oh!)

And finally, make sure to click over to see Joss Whedon's "Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog," starring Neil Patrick Harris and Nathan Fillion. It's hilarious, and the only downside is that now I think I should have a musical blog, too.

Speaking of Fillion, now that Ryan Reynolds is a big movie star, when is "Two Guys, A Girl, And a Pizza Place" going to come on DVD? What's the holdup?

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5 Comments:

At July 20, 2008 6:03 PM, Anonymous Trott Felipe said...

Interesting. I'm sure I'll get the rest of it on the ride home though. I get some of it now.

 
At July 20, 2008 11:13 PM, Blogger Erin said...

I Demand a musical blog. And dancing...lots of interpretive dancing.

MIB spends his weekends filming bits for VH1s I Love (fill in the blank with anything related to a time period). But you did remind me that I heard rumors that Fraggle Rock is going to be made into a movie.

 
At July 21, 2008 1:42 PM, Blogger Caitlin said...

I read I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell and I've never giggled from awkwardness so many times before in my life. Ironically I read it on my way to funeral. Now there's some fun times.

 
At July 21, 2008 10:53 PM, Blogger Assistant Village Idiot said...

What have I missed about Judy Blume?

 
At July 24, 2008 7:24 PM, Blogger Jonathan said...

"The hammer is my penis"

Classic.

 

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