As Woody Allen said, the heart wants what it wants. So, why are you here?

Grammy Predictions #58-110 (I did it!)

Y'know, next year I'm not gonna do one of these. They're not that fun to write, they're not too fun to read, and I don't care about the results. Plus, the Grammy broadcast doesn't show most of the boring categories, so there's no point in picking the lesser known ones since it doesn't make watching the show more fun. All in all, it's a waste of time.


Anyway, I'm gonna try to have as much fun as possible on these last picks. You can do what you want.


58. Best Latin Pop Album
La Vida... Es Un Ratico ("This Life... It Is A Giant Rat") by Juanes ("Two Guys Named 'John'")

59. Best Latin Rock Or Alternative Album
I love this: Mediocre ("Mediocre") by Ximena Sariñana ("The Fear Of Being Serenaded")

60. Best Latin Urban Album
The Royalty: La Realeza ("The Royalty: No, Really, I Have One!") by Rkm & Ken-y ("We're Not Latin, We're Two Guys From New Jersey With GarageBand")

61. Best Tropical Latin Album
Frutero Moderno ("A Very Modern Fruity Thing") by Gonzalo Grau y La Clave Secreta ("Gonzo the Great and the Clave of Secrets")

62. Best Regional Mexican Album
Desde México: "Cumbia Cusinela" ("Say it in Mexican!: Cum-ba-ya for Cooking") by Huichol Musical ("The Phantom Of The Opera")

63. Best Tejano Album (Is No Tejano Album)
I hate Tejano music.

Well, I gotta pick. Music Lessons ("No Talent Necessary!") by Chente Barrera y Taconazo ("The Cheezy Barrier and his sidekick, the Taconator")

64. Best Norteño Album
Corridos: Defendiendo El Honor ("Come To The Hallway: Sorry, Man, I Shouldn't Have Slept With Your Sister") by Pesado ("The Pessimist")

65. Best Banda Album
Que Bonito... ¡Es Lo Bonito! ("That Lovely Girl... She Is The Only Attractive Person In This Bar!") Banda El Recodo de Cruz Lizárraga ("The Band That Only Records Covers of Songs By The Lizard King")


Okay, maybe next year I'll do the Latin section. That was really fun.

Oh, good - it's all old guys.

66. Best Traditional Blues Album
Old Guy Of Choice: Johnny Lee Hooker Jr.

67. Best Contemporary Blues Album
Possible Barack Obama Connection: Dr. John And The Lower 911

Oh good - it's all weird old guys.

68. Best Traditional Folk Album
Old Guy Of Choice: Pete Seeger

69. Best Contemporary Folk/Americana Album
Old Guy Of Choice: Robert Plant & Alison Krauss

70. Best Native American Music Album
White Guilt Vote Of Choice: Spo'Mo'Kin'Nan by Black Lodge

71. Best Hawaiian Music Album
Brother Iz Is Dead Choice: The Spirit of Hawaiian Slack Key Guitar by Daniel Ho, George Kahumoku,Jr., Dennis Kamakahi, Paul Konwiser & Wayne Wong

72. Best Zydeco or Cajun Music Album
Homage Au Passé ("Tribute Albums Are So Over") by Pine Leaf Boys



Intoxication by Shaggy (He's still making music!) was a strong contender, but how can you go against Let's Get Physical by Elephant Man? One of the best album title/artist name combos I've ever seen.

74. Best Traditional World Music Album
White Guys Getting In Touch With Their Cultural Roots: Ladysmith Black Mambazo

75. Best Contemporary World Music Album:
M.I.A. Was Not Nominated? Who Else Makes World Music?: Global Drum Project by Mickey Hart, Zakir Hussain, Sikiru Adepoju & Giovanni Hidalgo


76. Best Polka Album
El Maestro Del Acordeón Y Sus Polkas ("A Master Of The Accordian Can Dance My Polka Any Day") by Paulino Bernal ("Vote For Me, I Might Be Related To Gael Garcia Bernal, Who Knows?")


77. Best Musical Album For Children
Rocker Dudes Should Get Some Votes: Here Come The 123s by They Might Be Giants

78. Best Spoken Word Album For Children
Grammy Voters Love Beautiful People: "Brown Bear And Friends" By Gwyneth Paltrow


79. Best Spoken Word Album
* An Inconvenient Truth (Al Gore)
Beau Bridges, Cynthia Nixon & Blair Underwood
* Born Standing Up
Steve Martin
* I Am America (And So Can You!)
Stephen Colbert (& Various Artists)
* Life Beyond Measure
Sidney Poitier
* When You Are Engulfed In Flames
David Sedaris

Let's just admit it: this list is kind of a incomprehensible group to make a decision about. You can't even give Al Gore the Liberal Love vote with Colbert, Poitier, and Sedaris in there. I'll give it to Gore anyway, though, because the book has won a Nobel Prize, and it's tough to top that.


80. Best Comedy Album
Never Underestimate The Posthumous Choice: George Carlin


81. Best Musical Show Album
I Can't Possibly Vote For "South Pacific": "In The Heights"


82. Best Compilation Soundtrack For a Motion Picture:
Who Doesn't Love Cute Indie Music: Juno Soundtrack

83. Best Score Soundtrack
Only One Of These Is Nominated For The Oscar: Wall-E Soundtrack By Thomas Newman

84. Best Song Written For A Motion Picture or TV
Two Songs From Enchanted Will Split The Vote: "Down To Earth" from Wall-E


85. Best Instrumental Composition
Four No-Names Versus John Williams Choice: John Williams

86. Best Instrumental Arrangement
Seriously, This Is Nominated For An Oscar, Guys: Peter Gabriel's Wall-E Song

87. Best Instrumental Arrangement Accompanying Vocalists
Take 6 Is Still Making Music?: "Grace" by Take 6


88. Best Recording Package
Hawk Nelson Got Nominated? No Way!: Uh... not Hawk Nelson. I'll Pick Metallica.

89. Best Boxed Or Special Limited Edition Package
Art Snobs Everywhere: I'll pick the obsessive Nine Inch Nails


90. Best Album Notes
How Is This A Category?: The Aretha Frankin Box Set seems a safe pick - plus, Barack Obama connection!


91. Best Historical Album
Apparently, I Can't Vote For "Sgt. Pepper": There's a Howard Taft album called "Debate '08!" I have absolutely no idea what that means.


92. Best Engineered Album, Non-Classical
Old Guy Of Choice: Al Green

93. Producer Of The Year, Non-Classical
A Barack Obama Connection Isn't Enough?: will.i.am produced a lot of his own records, while Danger Mouse produced three of the best records of the Year: The Black Keys' Attack & Release, Beck's Modern Guilt, and Gnarls Barkley's The Odd Couple (though obviously that last one would also fall under "producing your own records")

94. Best Remixed Recording, Non-Classical
I Want to Hear The Best Classical Remixes! Sigh: Junkie XL's rework of Madonna's "4 Minutes."

How is this its own field?

95. Best Surround Sound Album
Though Ringo in Surround Sound Doesn't Sound At All Appealing: A record called "Ringo 5.1" by Ringo Starr


96. Best Engineered Album, Classical
Yo-Yo Ma Was Involved Somehow: Traditions And Transformations: Sounds Of Silk Road Chicago

97. Producer Of The Year, Classical
He Also Found Time To Interview Nixon: David Frost


98. Best Classical Album
This One Sounded Most Impressive, Even Though It's Misspelled: Weill: Rise And Fall Of The City Of Mahagonny.

99. Best Orchestral Performance
This One Is From That Silk Road Album, So I'll Stick With It: Prokofiev: Scythian Suite, Op. 20

100. Best Opera Recording
It's Nominated Again: Weill: Rise And Fall Of The City of Mahagonny.

101. Best Choral Performance
Who Knew Kansas City Had a Great Orchestra?: Rheinberger: Sacred Choral Works

102. Best Instrumental Soloist Performance
Who The Heck Is "L'Orchestre De La Suisse Romande"?: Saint-Saëns: Piano Concertos 2 & 5

103. Best Instrumental Soloist Performance
I Don't Know Any Of These Names: "Red Cliff Capriccio," Wei Li

104. Best Chamber Music Performance
This One Sounded Kinda Hardcore: Right Through The Bone - Julius Röntgen Chamber Music

105. Best Small Ensemble Performance
There's No Way This Title Makes Sense, There's Three Colons And A Semicolon: Tan Dun: Pipa Concerto; Hayashi: Viola Concerto; Takemitsu: Nostalgia

I can't even figure out what to italicize.

106. Best Classical Vocal Performance
This Sounds Weirder Than Cate Blanchett Playing Dylan in I Am There: Corigliano: Mr. Tambourine Man: Seven Poems Of Bob Dylan

107. Best Classical Contemporary Composition
And Again!: Mr. Tambourine Man: Seven Poems Of Bob Dylan

108. Best Classical Crossover Album
When Did This Cross Over? And Where Did It Cross Over To?: Baroque by Gabriela Motero

I get to go out with a bang!

109. Best Short Form Music Video: "Pork And Beans" by Weezer was one of my all-time favorites, though it'll probably go to Radiohead, just because.

110. Best Long Form Music Video
Peter Bogdanovich Is A God, and Also - The Old Guy Vote: Runnin' Down A Dream, by Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers.


Oh, man. I made it. I really made it. I'm done. I finished.

I am not doing this again next year. That took forever.

Congrats if you made it this far. Let me know if you did!

Labels: grammy predictions

posted by Ben Wyman @ 9:56 PM