As Woody Allen said, the heart wants what it wants. So, why are you here?

Drinking in Public.

My dad steered me over to Drunkard.com, where I discovered the 86 Rules of Drinking:

Rule 11. Unacceptable things to say after taking a shot:
a) "Great! Now I'm going to get drunk."
b) "I hate shots."
c) "It's coming back up."

I also discovered a universal sign language that can be used in any bar. This signal was my particular favorite.

posted by Ben Wyman @ 9:46 PM